I'm Okay Really
by flarrow.huntbastian
Summary: Barry thought he was okay but in the eyes of other he was slowly killing himself. Barry Allen, the anorexic by accident, but is it ever really intentional?
1. Chapter 1

"Mr Allen? Allen? Barry Allen?"

"I uh what?" Asked Barry sheepishly looking up to see Singh looking at him.

"Have you finished the Melen Report yet?"

"I yeh here it is." Barry handed a folder to Singh.

Singh started flipping through up before giving Barry a disapproving look.

"Barry this is shocking. Do it again?"

"What?" Asked Barry confused as to what was wrong with it.

"It's littered with so many errors. Now do it again. I want it by tonight".

Singh walked off.

Great Barry thought. No lunch for me.

The evening soon came around and Barry still wasn't done. He was about to up and leave before Singh stopped him.

"Where are you going?"

"I need to go and pick up something to eat. Then I'll be right back to work."

"No. I said tonight. Now back to work. You can't go until it's done".

"But…"

"No."

Barry sighed and walked upstairs. No dinner either he thought.

The next day followed a similar pattern. Barry was half awake at work. Singh asked him to re do a case file. Barry would go without lunch and then again without dinner.

The day after was the same. Soon his week was the same. Then the month. It wasn't long before he just didn't feel hungry anymore so he didn't really care that much. Eventually Singh started to lay off but even then Barry didn't go back to eating normally. After another month of this he just stopped completely. He wasn't hungry so why should he eat is what he told himself.

"Barry? Barry? Are you there?" Asked Cisco through the coms, "Barry? You're vitals have spiked? Are you ok?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm here," Said Barry. He was leaning on a wall for support after almost fainting. But he was finneee.

"Ok. Good but get back here, I wanna run some test to be sure" said Caitlin through the coms.

Barry was back there in under five seconds.

"Barry…" Started Caitlin but she was quickly cut off by Barry falling to the floor unconscious.

"What have you done to yourself Barry?"

"I wasn't hungry Joe!? I wasn't going to force myself. I didn't feel right okay!"

It hadn't taken long for Caitlin to realise Barry hadn't been eating, so she called Joe. Barry had only been up for an hour and him and Joe were already at it.

"Well you should have!? Why? Why Barry!? What on Earth caused you to do this?"

"I'm not doing this Joe!" Said Barry getting up and un hooking himself from different machines.

"No Barry, you don't get to just walk away" said Iris from the other side of the room.

"Why the heck not Iris!?"

"Because you need help Barry!" Shouted Joe getting frustrated at the younger boy.

"No. No I don't. Joe Iris, I am fine. And if you can't accept that then I can't be around you right now".

Barry started to walk away but Caitlin stopped him.

"Barry you need to lie down. You need help".

"No I don't. Not anymore" Barry ran…. He just ran… He wasn't sure where he was going…. He wasn't sure why… He just ran fast and farr.

 **** _A/N_

 _I hope you liked this! It's only short and it ends on a cliffhanger of sorts. Thank you for reading._

 _FlarrowHuntbastian xoxo_


	2. Chapter 2

"Barry… He….. Yes I know… No no….. It's fine… Yes….. It's not…. Ok… Bye…"

"How…. do….."

"He… he... ver…."

"N… That… lp… NO!"

That's all Barry could hear… he slipped in and out of consciousness, capturing small samples of conversation between people. He recognised voices but he couldn't place them.

He felt someone take his hand. They squeezed it slightly, it was comforting. He felt them, they didn't let go. They just held his hand as he led there unable to move.

"B...ry Ba...y Barry…"

"Y.. ye… yes" Barry slowly, drowsily responded while trying to open his eyes.

"Barry, you're awake?"

"Y… yes…"

"I need you to open your eyes for me Barry" Said a different female voice.

"5… more minutes" Responded Barry sleepily.

"Please Barry, then you can go back to sleep," replied the voice.

Slowly Barry's eyes fluttered open.

"Hiya Barry" Said Felicity as Barry opened his eyes.

Felicity shon a light in his eyes before taking note that they were both equally reactive. She then took a blood sample before deciding to unhook him from a few machines.

"Sleep now Barry" Said Felicity. Barry wanted to turn, to see who was holding his hand. He's seen both of Felicity's and yet still the person holding his hand never let go. Barry rolled over to see who it was. As he curled up on his side he saw the one and only Oliver Queen holding his hand.

"Hi Barry…" Said Oliver smiling,

"Hi….." Barry started but it was obvious to Oliver that he was still so tired.

"Sleep Barry" Oliver said gently running his hand through Barry's hair.

"Lie with me?" Asked Barry sleepily.

Oliver knew Barry was tired, he probably didn't know what he was saying but Oliver couldn't say no. Carefully Oliver climbed onto the bed and led himself behind Barry and slowly he wrapped his arms around him.

"Now sleep Barry?" Oliver said, he held Barry until he heard his even breathing. He was going to go but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

Just by holding him Oliver could feel Barry's bones. He could clearly feel the ridges in his back and the shape of his ribs. It wasn't long before Oliver too had fallen asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

"Oliver, Oliver, Wake up..." Felicity was leaning over Oliver when he opened his eyes.

Oliver realised where he was and slowly let go of Barry's small frame and stepped off the bed.

"Hey.." Said Felicity,

"Hi." Replied Oliver unsure of what to say.

"I need to talk to you away from," Felicity nodded towards Barry.

"Yes, of course."

Oliver followed Felicity into another room away from Barry.

"He needs help". Was all Felicity said. Oliver straight away knew she was right.

"I know".

"Oliver, we need to get Caitlin here".

"No" hesitated Oliver,

"Why not?" Asked Felicity.

"Just, no."

"Oliver, we don't know what we're doing. Barry's hardly normal. We need Caitlin" Felicity tried to explain.

"No. Felicity."

"Oliver, what do we do then? Seriosly, tell me?!"

"Fe..." Oliver started but he was cut off.

"Nothing." Said Barry. Both Oliver and Felicity turned to see Barry stood in the door way.

"You do nothing. Guys I'm fine."

"You are not fine" Said Felicity.

"I am really,"

"Then tell me, Barry. How much do you weigh?" Asked Felicity firmly,

"I uh.. I "

"Barry?" Asked Oliver softly.

"About.. 165",

"And how much did you weigh when you woke up?" Asked Felicity with no visible emotion.

"190".

"Barry you need help!" Said Felicity,

"No. I don't"

"Barry..."

"I'll go. I'll run again. You can't keep me here. I'll leave. "

Barry was clearly starting to panic.

"Barry. Let us help you" Said Felicity,

"No.. no no" Barry was visibly crying now "I'll run. I'll leave. I'm fine"

"Okay," Said Oliver, "I know. I know. It's okay".

Oliver slowly advanced on Barry, wrapping his arms around the crying boy. After a few minutes Oliver pulled back and rested his hands on Barry's shoulders.

"Why don't I get you away from the base?" Barry just looked at the floor. "Lets go back to the mansion. Just you and I. We'll watch a movie or something. Just relax. Yeah?"

Barry was silent but Oliver took that as a sign. Slowly Oliver put one arm across Barry's shoulders and walked him out to the car.

Barry said nothing the whole way back to the mansion and once he was inside it didn't get much better.


	4. Chapter 4

Barry and Oliver walked up the drive way and slowly made their way towards the house. When they finally reached the outside Barry froze suddenly.

"Barry, what is it?" Asked Oliver a little concerned,

"You said just you and I" Said Barry starting to freak out.

"I didn't know they'd be home, I'm sorry". Through the one of the large windows you could see Oliver's mum, Thea and Roy.

"I can't do this. Not more people. No" Barry was now full blown panicking.

"Barry, sh, Barry, it's okay. Lets go in and you don't have to stop and talk if you don't want to. Just go in and go straight up the stairs. You know which room is mine so just go straight there."

"I.. I.."

"Barry, I'll be right next to you. It's fine. You're fine."

Barry nodded shyly as Oliver put his arm around Barry, placing his hand on Barry's waist, pulling him close and in the spur of the moment Oliver placed a gentle kiss to the top of Barry's head before starting to walk him into the house.

When they entered Thea instantly noticed them.

"Hey Ollie!" She said excitedly before noticing the look of pure panic on Barry's face.

"What's wrong?" Asked Thea concerned.

Oliver turned to her and just mouthed not now, Thea nodded in understanding before turning back to Roy. Oliver and Barry continued up the staird to Olivers room.

They entered Oliver's room and Barry sat down on the bed and put his head in his hands. Oliver did a few odd bits before turning and noticing Barry the way he was.

"Hey you okay?" Oliver asked a little concerned,

"Yeah, yeah. I'm just tired." Responed Barry,

"Why don't you lie down?" Suggested Oliver.

Barry got up and was about to walk over to the small sofa in Oliver's room to lie down.

"What are you doing?" Asked Oliver,

"I'm going to lie down?"

"Why not on the bed?" Asked Oliver confused,

"I can't take your bed".

"Please Barry. It's fine." Barry just nodded slightly, "Do you want change into more comfortable to sleep in?"

"I don't have anything" Said Barry,

"Here" Responded Oliver opening a draw and pulling out some sweats and a black v-neck top. "They may be a little big but atleast it's something."

"T. Thank you" Barry stuttered slightly.

Barry slowly pulled on the top and sweats, as he was doing this Oliver noticed how much his bones stuck out, and how pale his skin was.

Barry was about to say something but he stopped himself. Oliver noticed this.

"What?" Asked Oliver,

"Oh, what? Nothing. Sorry" Said Barry,

"No. It's okay. What?"

"Can I possibly borrow a jumper or something? I'm freezing".

"Sure. If you want, rather than just lying down, why don't you get into bed".

Barry looked like he wanted to nod but he hesitated.

"I'll lie with you if you want?"

Barry gave a small smile before slowly climing into bed.

Oliver and Barry decided on a film to put on the TV before, Oliver joined Barry in the bed.

Barry was clearly shaking so Oliver wrapped his arms around the smaller boy and pulled him close and tight. From the first contact with Barry's skin, he knew how cold he was.

It wasn't wrong before Barry stopped shivering and has fallen asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Hello! Please read this it's very important!

All of my stories on here are being moved onto Ao3. They will be edited and re-done for the move.

I'm sorry if this inconveniences anyone but it will make my life one hell of a lot easier to update more often if they're on my Ao3 account. Luckily you don't have to have an account on Ao3 to read and leave comments and kudos on Ao3 so if you still want to read my fanfics but don't want to wait on the waiting list to get an account you still can.

I won't be taking down any of the stories on here (other than the ones I already have) until about the end of May beginning June so they will definitely be posted on Ao3 when I take them down.

If you are interested in still following (continuing to read) the fanfictions my account name is flarrow_huntbastian and in case you can't find that account I have posted a few fanfictions so you could try searching them. They are Still Breathing in the Stars, The Greatest Years of our Lives and Emails of the Forsaken. All of those fanfictions are Olivary based so if you wanna check them out go ahead!


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